4 days after round #2

I'm feeling a little sorry for myself...even though I try not to and realize that I really have very little to feel sorry about. My life is blessed. My life is full of sooooo much good....despite the cancer. But there are those little naggy things that I'm having to deal with that are bringing me down...just a little.

Like....

the sores in my nose
the constant bleeding whenever I blow
the bone pain
the gas pain
the cold sweats during the night
the headache
the loss of my nose hairs
not to mention my "head hair"

A friend gave me a small supply of some green herbs to help me get through the toughest times....I'm becoming more and more tempted....I really am.

For now...I try to stay focused on the fact that I'm not the only one going through this crap and that really....my story is pretty minor. I mean seriously....I didn't even lose a complete boob....I have an indentation and a scar (well two) but really....it's been pretty darn good to date.....in the whole scheme of things.

And I will get through this crap...there are no other options...well there are, but....we're not taking that one....so we're stuck on the road that we're on....which is a good one.

2 down and 4 to go

I had my second chemo treatment and it went relatively well....definitely not as scarey as thefirst one. We'll see how the night goes.

Decadron
Carboplatin
Herceptin
Abraxane
All followed by a good saline rinse.

January 13th, 2010

This marks three weeks to the day of my first chemo treatment....it also marks the day that my hair starts to fall out.

I knew it was coming, I was prepared...or so I thought?!

I was combing my hair (next to my daughter) and noticed an unusual amount of hair on the comb, I thought "is that mine?". Then I threw in some mouse through the hair...only to have my hands come back covered in my fine hairs. I knew it was time.

This morning (the day after) I woke up to my pillow covered in my hair....I have since had my hair shaved off and am sporting my wig. I have yet to see myself without my hair...it makes me a little uneasy...even though I'll have to face reality.

Right now I'm more concerned about dealing with my cough.

I should have started this long ago.

My story begins here....

September 11, 2010...my husband left for a company fishing trip. I got up and headed for the shower. For whatever reason I decided to examine my breasts....something I remember doing back in June (casually), probably for the first time in a year or so. I noticed something strange...a lump. My immediate reaction was to turn my eyes to the ceiling and voice out `damn it`. For whatever reason I knew that this lump was different.

I remember telling Tony when he got home...`I don`t want to concern you but...I found a lump in my breast`. And then I called my doctor and set up an appointment for a couple of days later.

I was scheduled for a mammogram three weeks later and ended up with 11 zaps to the boobs....two on the right and 9 on the left...with an unconfirmed ultrasound. When you have an ultra sound technician ask you if `there is a history of breast cancer` in the family and then the doctor coming in and saying `well I`m not getting a clear picture from the ultrasound but I`m worried about what the mammogram is showing me`....you start to worry.

The biopsy was set up for October 26th.